so fast......

One weeks ago~~~
so fast...
next week wanna start college already...
times go so fast~~~

wanna one year already....
i still thinking XXX....

i got half month dinn't see him already...
dunno he still ok are not...
this half month i think so poperly already.....

Pls....
don't treat me like that...ok?
i will control myself...

everyday i also will wish...
i wish......i wish again.....
bless...bless.......

hope can see you soon...
thanks....god...

i hope~~~~~~~~~

Walk~~~~and walk~~~

This three days i also work at there...
when i walking around there...
i really hope i got chance to see him...

haizz....
all this is only i hope...

i working until my leg so pain alreaddy...
but...don't why?when i rest time...i din't go eat and sit...
just walk around and around at there...

i din't walk in his' s shop...i just walk near around there...
hope he will go out...and can see him...
but finally...is no....==

i told myself already...
don't think of him...
but this few day i just walk around at over there...
alone walk and walk.....
even my leg is so pain and very tired...

i also no feeling...just walking~~
waiting him appear...

when i walking go rest....
i remember back....the memories you and me~~
i remember before we rest together...
walking at there....
even we how tired....we also feel so happy and enjoy...
on that time....i 'll wake up early in the morning...
prepair the lunch for our break time to eat...

you feel so happy...when rest time...
because can eat with me...and also can eat my cook lunch...

today i just alone at there...
don't have you accompany me walking at there...
don't have you accompany me having lunch at there...

still got two months...
is we already break up one year...
so rush...times is go on.......
non stop....

and my love also is non stop....
all the memories also in my heart...
i will cant forget it....
hope you too....

to you~~~

Until now.....i still haven't back the thiongs to him..
Why???
i still want to waiting what??
all also cant get back already....times is go on....
cant turn back any where....

All also is impossible.....

i know is impossible....
but why i still want to waiting...??

i waiting for what??

this few i working~~working~~
until my brain don't think about him,
but when i one person...i will thinking of him...

but i not sad...i dinn't cry...
i only thinking what he doing...

and thinking back our memories only...

then i feel so happy.....
my mood will be ok....^^

one things is make me so scared is.....
i scared you will forget me and......u got other...
this thing is make me so scared want.......
"God!wish me and wish him will everyday happy, and one day he will know me...will be friend with me...will forgive me...
before you do all the bad thing to me...i also will forgive you...
why you cant forgive me??
if you don' t give people a chance...how you can let people give you a chance......

you don't know how i sadness....
please~~~forgive me~~~
thats all only...then enough....^^thanks god~~"

i thinking~~~

don't know why today feel not feeling well...
keep on sleep....
i wake up..wht i also don't have think...
but when i sleeping..i got dreaming of him...

im not sure what i doing in the dream with him..
i only remember he beside onme...accompany me..

when i wake up...
that feel still at here...
my heart feel so sweet...

but this is dream...
i must wake up....

i feel not feeling before...i will tell you im not feeling well...
then youmust call me or message me...
ask me what happen to me...

now..
i just looking my hp...
cant do anything....
cant tell you..cant call you..cant message you...

i just looking my hp....
looking until i fall asleep...

i very hope one day when i looking myhp...
Is YOU.....call me or messaege me...

"how are you?....
you happy are not?
you got thinking of me?
you angry me?
you still ok are not?
feel so tired?"

this all i also cant ask him..
WHY?WHY?
Why will become like this??

i hate myself...
i regret....
you say why i cant do everything for you..
just only you do everything for me..change for me..

you know??
i got do everthing for you..also got change for you..
is you don't know all this...

please don't want ignore me...ok?
be friend to me..ok?

i pray again...i pray...
everyday i also pray....

i pray.....

Wake up in the morning feel so tired....
don't have work today.....feel so bored...
i got go out today....when i one person walking at there...
i memories back...our first time dating is at there..time square...
i still remember....
you first time hold my hand...then we walking at there...
we chat..we smile...we happy...

when thinking back...on that time i feel so happy...
but i looking myself....now...is only one person walking here.....
feel so lonely.....and feel so sad...

All also is memory you and me...........
if now you still beside on me....i will feel so happy wan...
and feel so hapiness....

this few day...everynight before i sleep...
"i will pray....pray god will give me one more chance...
pray you will give me one more chance...
pray you will not angry me...will still be fren with me...
pray one day you will know me....."

everyday i also will pray...
will say goodnight to you...but just say inside my heart...
hope you can feel it...
you happy i also will happy...
you fine also will be ok.....

this is my pray.....

times??can turn back??

today still same work at klcc...
take two tren to go there.....
when i walking to go there work...
i will thinking back before...
when i start working i will message him...and say after finish work will go there and meet him...
he also will say becareful...and gambateh wan..

NoW!!!
one message also don't have...

yesterday night when i want to sleep on that time..
suddenly...i got hope....i hope tomorrow when i wake up..
open my eyes....is turn back to 2008.12.11....

because is on that day we seprate wan.....
if turn back on that day i will say sorry to you...
and also wiil call back you....

don't want you go away from me....
now is too late....but if got a chance i wish...
i really want turn back to that day...

then i think we will happy together...
and until now maybe we still together....

but all also is i dreaming only...
when today i open my eyes...all aslo is continue...
still want to go work...still want to miss him...

i just think only...where cant turn back wan...
i know is cant wan...
is i think too much...haiz..

i will miss you...but i will not disturd you...
you always on my heart...but i will happy...

this is i promise myself wan..
if i really get stress i only cry....

but if i really miss you..can i cry??

now i still thinking when i only give back you the things...
maybe next week...i will call you...
but i don't know you will received my call are not...
i will try to give back you...

continue tomorrow~~~

Mooncake festival~~+alone~~

today is mooncake festival...
i got working today...at klcc...
i wake up morning...i feel so tired~~~
is not body n sleepy tired...
is i feel my heart so tired....
because i thinking back what he say on that day...
i feel so not well....

even today i busying in working..but...
i still can thinking of him....haiz..

i remind back....b4 i working part time at there...
after finish work i feel so tired edi...but i also will take ktm and take lrt go he's working places,
wait him off..then v go back together...
however so tired...can meet him..i will feel so spirit...
my leg how pain i aslo will go find him....because when i saw him already what pain also dissapear.....

today i feel so lonely....
i got message him...wish him "happy mooncake festival"..
i know he already received wan..
just only don't want t o reply me....

"i want to be your friend...can?"
hope can la..

"Happy Mooncake Festival~~and your family also~~"

30.9.2009

30.9.2009...
this day i got saw him...
and i also got sit in he's car...
on that time..i thinking...today maybe is a last time i sit in he's car...
and maybe is a last day he talking wif me...
but i will hope still got chance can talk with him and he fetch me...
but i know..now he not my who...also is not bf...

i cant control him will stay beside on me...
i know now...i want to accept all the things is infront of me...
im so miss...so love...
but i cant to anything....
i need to learn how to give up you...and forget you...
don't thinking of you....
you said we cannot be friend anymore...
you know when i hear it you said like that...
i really feel my heart want to broken...
but nevermind...you also said like that...

what can i do...
i only can say i regret...why i treat you so good..
you can treat me like that..
i thought i treat you so good...
i will get hapiness wan...
all also is fake wan...

why you can gbecome like that...
change like other people...
i know...the question will inside my heart forever...
i know i will dunno answer...forever..
even next year....10 years ago...or 20 years ago...
i also know....the question only inside my heart forever...

FROM NOW......
i want to tell myself don't thinking of you already...
is no rewards wan...
how i expend all the things with you...
i also no rewards....no respond....

ok....
i thinking so long...how can i really forget you?
then i think i keep it all you give the present and picture...
all the thing about you and me...
i will keep it...and also i want to give back you....
then i only can forget you at all....
don't want like last time still thinking of you....
i know on this time i will so suffer and so miss you...
will memories me and you....
me and you got a lot memories....
when want to go where also got our memories....
i only can feel my heart so pain.........
i tell myself...this time is my last time to write like this...
don't think already.......

goodbye all the memories...
goodbye my baby.....take care...

you always in my heart......i will alone forever~~~

lucky~~~thanks god

lucky my house still ok...
lucky my family ok...
all the things also is fine...
now i still remember that day all the things...
on that time i wish god don't lost my house.....
i pray....
tat feel really not good...
im so scared almost want to cry....
but i tell myself don't so scared...everthing will be ok...
when that time i also want to tell you what happen...
but...when i run up my house...i forget to take my handphone..
so i cant call you...
but after that everthing is fine...
then i also take back my handphone can sms you...
i dinn't tell you what happen to me...
i only tell you im so scared...
but you also dinn't reply my message....
nvm....now pass already....
when im so scared...or others..
i also will thinking of you...
like this time....i also got thinking you....
i really hope on that time you beside on me....
but i know is impossible....
thanks god~~~thanks everthings~~~
i wish no next time ...and also my family will healthy...
and you too.....
thanks a lot.....

6.9 2009....

This day im so happy....
because i can meet him already....
im working at xxx...when i off already..
i try to message him...
ask him want dinner with me are not?

after send that message i wait him reply...
but...i think he will no reply me want...
so, i walk to ktm station to take ktm go back...



when i walking....suddenly,he call me...
Is he call me...
so long times already..he din't call me..
then i so happy received that call...
he ask me want eat are not..we eat together..
then i say sure!!!

then he say wait him at xxx....
then i wait him at there....
on that time i feel so happy and so scared also...
scared don't know want to talk what with him...
im so long times din't see him already...


i Saw him already...hehe
but he din't face on me...
i want to see his's eyes also cannot..haiz..
then he fetch me go xxx eat dinner...

when i sit inside his car...i feel so happy..
i thought i no chance to sit in his car...
when i sitting i memories back before...when we together~~
my heart also feel pain~~

but...at least can meet him already,then i feel so happy...
hope next time i work at xxx...
he also can fetch me...
i only wan see him only...


"when i meet you...im feel so happy...i hope we also still can continue like that...can hang out together..thanks~~"

actually i want to tell you~~

"im so miss you~~i always dreaming of you~~"

想念～～～

时间过得真快。。。
不知不觉又到就九月了。。。
一个学期就这样的过去了。。。
不懂我的考试成绩如何呢？可不可以及格咧。。
希望如我所愿吧。。。

放假两个星期。。。觉得很无聊。。
一直想要去找工作做。。。
我最想做的工作时就是可以和他靠近一点的地方。。。
最好就是XXX的地方。。
让我可以有机会看见他。。。也有机会他可以和我聊天。。
那我就觉得很满足了。。。起码我知道他是开心的。。健康的。。

有时候真的很想知道他现在在做着什么？
他是不是很闷。。。需要有人陪他聊天？？
我真的很希望他会找我陪他聊天。。。
其实你是很想要的。。不过你只是过不到你自己那关罢了。。
不要在我面前装了。。你明明就是想要有人陪你。。
真的很想拿起电话信息给你。。。可是有怕你会不回复我。。
又想打电话给你。。。可是又怕你会盖我电话。。。

其实有一首歌很适合我。。。
我真的很想唱给你听。。不过你应该听不明白。。因为你也是不会话语嘛。。
不过我真的很想唱出我的心声。。。。
想给你知道我要对你说的话。。。
如果你看到我写的东西。。
希望你会去听这首歌。。。 “心动” 林晓培

"if you see what im writing...can you try to find this song and hear??
this song is i want to sing for you...but maybe i don't have this chance..
but.. i hope you can find this song and hear it...thanks.."

Disappointed~~~

i thought today i can meet you~~~
maybe i think too much.....
cant meet you....
so disappointed.....haiz~~~
hope i can meet you la.....
because really long times din meet you already...
i think got two months more already din meet you....
so miss you....
dont know how are you now?
why you boring also dont want to find me??
i can let you not boring want....
Erm...if you feel bored or want to find people to talk...
you can find me to hangout with you...
dont always say so busy...not free..
i know you free want....
is youself dont want to meet me only...
i understand what you thinking want.....
can i hangout with you??
or can i chat with you??
all the people also say me so stuppid...
why??
because i still remember that what i promise you before...
you say on me...i cant change everything for you ...
but.. i can say you are wrong...
i can change everything for you...
but i think...i dont have a chance for change to you...
but i also hope we still can be good friend....
when you boring...can find me chat with you..no matter what happen..
tomorrow still want to exam..
wish me good luck in exam~~~gambateh!!hehe...

goodluck~~

明天就要开始考试了。。。
心情有点紧张。。。担心。。。
很希望你会祝福我。。。不过来不及跟你说。。。你就下线了。。
可以不要避开我吗？大方一点。。我又不会吃你的。。。
只是想和你见面一下。。喝茶一下也不能吗？
你真的有那么忙吗？
如果说忙。。。我比你更加忙。。。
每晚我都比你夜睡。。比你多东西做。。。
又早起过你。。。
我都可以安排时间跟朋友出去聚一下啊。。。
时间是自己安排的。。。
不要给借口。。。好吗？
我都可以那么大方约你。。。你就不能大方一点吗？
你可以和其他人出去。。。我就不可以。。。
为什么？？？
你就是在逃避我。。。。对吗？
我只是想要你的一句祝福也那么难吗？
can you wish me good luck in exam?i only want you wish me only also cannot?
wish myself good luck~~~~

Unhappy~~~

今天。。。我有点不开心。。
为什么呢？
我也不知道自己为什么还要为了他而生气。。。
为什会生气？
我到底是气呢？还是在伤心？
我还要伤心来做么？？他都已经不属于我了。。
就算我伤心他也不懂的啦！！
如果他要问我东西，就直接问我啦！
为什么还要通过别人来告诉我。。
你就不能直接告诉我吗？
If u got something want to tel me,then just straight away tell me..u can call me also can come to find..v still is friend..no need get far away from me...hope u can find me or call me..ok?
wait you ya...
希望你能明白啦～～
其实我真的很想你可以看到我这个部落格。。。
因为想要给你知道我在想什么。。。可以让你明白我要的是什么。。
就是做回朋友而已。。。也希望是最好的那个。。
可能我想太多吧。。所以。。。算啦。。。
他没可能会看到的。。。
if u really got see my blogs...hope you can understand me...and we can be a good friend...

Alone~~~

this recenlty..dunno why??still thinking him...
maybe i n him got a lot of memory....or.....
i really hope i can forget him all the things...
i thought i can give up him...but
i can't.....when i sleeping.. i also dreaming him...
dunno why??
Until now already 8 months....
8 months edi also can't give up him...
eveyday i also ask myself WHY???
but the answer is....myself also dunno..haiz..
until now...i also feel you beside on me....
i remember u got say before...
"Bie bie...Bie always beside on you..no matter what happen...Bie also will beside on Biebie...."
i still remember this..
when you say this to me...
i really feel so happy..you know?
but now also leave me alone at here...

回忆~~~

突然很想他~~不懂为什么？
如果我当初我们没有分开的话，可能现在我们已经在一起两年了。
为什么会变成这样？？
我知道当时是我无知，可是我都道歉过了，也挽回过。。。
为什么你还不会原谅我呢？
难道你真的没有真正的爱过我？
如果你真的爱一个人。你就会去挽回他。。
可是。。。。你却没有。。。
我在想。。。是我被利用呢？还是我傻？
我到底算什么？？
我真得很想知道你最近怎样？过得好吗？
有没有想起我？不过。。。。
我知道是没可能的。。。
那天我回到我们曾经读过的中学学校。。。
我走过以前我们一起读过的班。。
那些画面就一直出现在我脑海里。。。
我跟你在班谈话的时候。。还有就是我跟你一起在缝国旗的时候。。
全部都深深在我的脑海里~~~我还记得那时候我感觉到很开心~~
唉~~~~
真得很怕他会有新的对像。。
我真的会接受不到。。。
希望不会发生这样的事情。。。
我有是在想。。。他还会对我有感觉吗？
他是冷血的吗？真的完全忘记了我？
我真得很笨~~~
一直说要放弃。。
但是还是做不到~~~~

8月4日。。纪念日。。

“8月4 日”。。。我永远都会记得这个日期～
两年前的这天，是我跟他开始的时候～
还记得当时他脚还受伤了。
我因为担心他，还拨电话给他。。。
问他的脚有事没有～～就是这样。。
他再次的向我告白。。。
就是这天我就跟他开始了。。。
很想念两年前的这天～～真的好想念。。
我知道。。想念已经是没有用了。。
因为他的心里已经没有我了～～～
我还想念来怎么呢？？
我是不是很笨啊？？
为什么来年后的今天会变成这样？
以为可以跟他一生一世。。。
可是。。。现在却变成这样。。
是我的错吗？还是他早已经不属于我了～
之前所有的承诺。。全部都是假的？
我也不知道～～
就算是真是假。。已经不重要了。。
我只是想要好好地过我的生活。。。
也希望他也是。。。
我希望他永远记得这一天“8月4日”
我没有后悔过跟你在一起。。。
我只是后悔我当初自己没有好好的珍惜你～～
原谅我。。。。
现在已经是跟他分开了有八个月了。。。但是。。
我还是觉得。。那种感觉还在。。
没有改变过。。。我一直以来都没有改变过。。
我会永远记得这一天“8月4日”。。