so fast......

One weeks ago~~~
so fast...
next week wanna start college already...
times go so fast~~~

wanna one year already....
i still thinking XXX....

i got half month dinn't see him already...
dunno he still ok are not...
this half month i think so poperly already.....

Pls....
don't treat me like that...ok?
i will control myself...

everyday i also will wish...
i wish......i wish again.....
bless...bless.......

hope can see you soon...
thanks....god...

i hope~~~~~~~~~

Walk~~~~and walk~~~

This three days i also work at there...
when i walking around there...
i really hope i got chance to see him...

haizz....
all this is only i hope...

i working until my leg so pain alreaddy...
but...don't why?when i rest time...i din't go eat and sit...
just walk around and around at there...

i din't walk in his' s shop...i just walk near around there...
hope he will go out...and can see him...
but finally...is no....==

i told myself already...
don't think of him...
but this few day i just walk around at over there...
alone walk and walk.....
even my leg is so pain and very tired...

i also no feeling...just walking~~
waiting him appear...

when i walking go rest....
i remember back....the memories you and me~~
i remember before we rest together...
walking at there....
even we how tired....we also feel so happy and enjoy...
on that time....i 'll wake up early in the morning...
prepair the lunch for our break time to eat...

you feel so happy...when rest time...
because can eat with me...and also can eat my cook lunch...

today i just alone at there...
don't have you accompany me walking at there...
don't have you accompany me having lunch at there...

still got two months...
is we already break up one year...
so rush...times is go on.......
non stop....

and my love also is non stop....
all the memories also in my heart...
i will cant forget it....
hope you too....

to you~~~

Until now.....i still haven't back the thiongs to him..
Why???
i still want to waiting what??
all also cant get back already....times is go on....
cant turn back any where....

All also is impossible.....

i know is impossible....
but why i still want to waiting...??

i waiting for what??

this few i working~~working~~
until my brain don't think about him,
but when i one person...i will thinking of him...

but i not sad...i dinn't cry...
i only thinking what he doing...

and thinking back our memories only...

then i feel so happy.....
my mood will be ok....^^

one things is make me so scared is.....
i scared you will forget me and......u got other...
this thing is make me so scared want.......
"God!wish me and wish him will everyday happy, and one day he will know me...will be friend with me...will forgive me...
before you do all the bad thing to me...i also will forgive you...
why you cant forgive me??
if you don' t give people a chance...how you can let people give you a chance......

you don't know how i sadness....
please~~~forgive me~~~
thats all only...then enough....^^thanks god~~"

i thinking~~~

don't know why today feel not feeling well...
keep on sleep....
i wake up..wht i also don't have think...
but when i sleeping..i got dreaming of him...

im not sure what i doing in the dream with him..
i only remember he beside onme...accompany me..

when i wake up...
that feel still at here...
my heart feel so sweet...

but this is dream...
i must wake up....

i feel not feeling before...i will tell you im not feeling well...
then youmust call me or message me...
ask me what happen to me...

now..
i just looking my hp...
cant do anything....
cant tell you..cant call you..cant message you...

i just looking my hp....
looking until i fall asleep...

i very hope one day when i looking myhp...
Is YOU.....call me or messaege me...

"how are you?....
you happy are not?
you got thinking of me?
you angry me?
you still ok are not?
feel so tired?"

this all i also cant ask him..
WHY?WHY?
Why will become like this??

i hate myself...
i regret....
you say why i cant do everything for you..
just only you do everything for me..change for me..

you know??
i got do everthing for you..also got change for you..
is you don't know all this...

please don't want ignore me...ok?
be friend to me..ok?

i pray again...i pray...
everyday i also pray....

i pray.....

Wake up in the morning feel so tired....
don't have work today.....feel so bored...
i got go out today....when i one person walking at there...
i memories back...our first time dating is at there..time square...
i still remember....
you first time hold my hand...then we walking at there...
we chat..we smile...we happy...

when thinking back...on that time i feel so happy...
but i looking myself....now...is only one person walking here.....
feel so lonely.....and feel so sad...

All also is memory you and me...........
if now you still beside on me....i will feel so happy wan...
and feel so hapiness....

this few day...everynight before i sleep...
"i will pray....pray god will give me one more chance...
pray you will give me one more chance...
pray you will not angry me...will still be fren with me...
pray one day you will know me....."

everyday i also will pray...
will say goodnight to you...but just say inside my heart...
hope you can feel it...
you happy i also will happy...
you fine also will be ok.....

this is my pray.....

times??can turn back??

today still same work at klcc...
take two tren to go there.....
when i walking to go there work...
i will thinking back before...
when i start working i will message him...and say after finish work will go there and meet him...
he also will say becareful...and gambateh wan..

NoW!!!
one message also don't have...

yesterday night when i want to sleep on that time..
suddenly...i got hope....i hope tomorrow when i wake up..
open my eyes....is turn back to 2008.12.11....

because is on that day we seprate wan.....
if turn back on that day i will say sorry to you...
and also wiil call back you....

don't want you go away from me....
now is too late....but if got a chance i wish...
i really want turn back to that day...

then i think we will happy together...
and until now maybe we still together....

but all also is i dreaming only...
when today i open my eyes...all aslo is continue...
still want to go work...still want to miss him...

i just think only...where cant turn back wan...
i know is cant wan...
is i think too much...haiz..

i will miss you...but i will not disturd you...
you always on my heart...but i will happy...

this is i promise myself wan..
if i really get stress i only cry....

but if i really miss you..can i cry??

now i still thinking when i only give back you the things...
maybe next week...i will call you...
but i don't know you will received my call are not...
i will try to give back you...

continue tomorrow~~~

Mooncake festival~~+alone~~

today is mooncake festival...
i got working today...at klcc...
i wake up morning...i feel so tired~~~
is not body n sleepy tired...
is i feel my heart so tired....
because i thinking back what he say on that day...
i feel so not well....

even today i busying in working..but...
i still can thinking of him....haiz..

i remind back....b4 i working part time at there...
after finish work i feel so tired edi...but i also will take ktm and take lrt go he's working places,
wait him off..then v go back together...
however so tired...can meet him..i will feel so spirit...
my leg how pain i aslo will go find him....because when i saw him already what pain also dissapear.....

today i feel so lonely....
i got message him...wish him "happy mooncake festival"..
i know he already received wan..
just only don't want t o reply me....

"i want to be your friend...can?"
hope can la..

"Happy Mooncake Festival~~and your family also~~"

30.9.2009

30.9.2009...
this day i got saw him...
and i also got sit in he's car...
on that time..i thinking...today maybe is a last time i sit in he's car...
and maybe is a last day he talking wif me...
but i will hope still got chance can talk with him and he fetch me...
but i know..now he not my who...also is not bf...

i cant control him will stay beside on me...
i know now...i want to accept all the things is infront of me...
im so miss...so love...
but i cant to anything....
i need to learn how to give up you...and forget you...
don't thinking of you....
you said we cannot be friend anymore...
you know when i hear it you said like that...
i really feel my heart want to broken...
but nevermind...you also said like that...

what can i do...
i only can say i regret...why i treat you so good..
you can treat me like that..
i thought i treat you so good...
i will get hapiness wan...
all also is fake wan...

why you can gbecome like that...
change like other people...
i know...the question will inside my heart forever...
i know i will dunno answer...forever..
even next year....10 years ago...or 20 years ago...
i also know....the question only inside my heart forever...

FROM NOW......
i want to tell myself don't thinking of you already...
is no rewards wan...
how i expend all the things with you...
i also no rewards....no respond....

ok....
i thinking so long...how can i really forget you?
then i think i keep it all you give the present and picture...
all the thing about you and me...
i will keep it...and also i want to give back you....
then i only can forget you at all....
don't want like last time still thinking of you....
i know on this time i will so suffer and so miss you...
will memories me and you....
me and you got a lot memories....
when want to go where also got our memories....
i only can feel my heart so pain.........
i tell myself...this time is my last time to write like this...
don't think already.......

goodbye all the memories...
goodbye my baby.....take care...

you always in my heart......i will alone forever~~~